The knowledge of another person, or even of nature, is an art that requires much more than mere observation or assimilation of information. In The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, a distinctive phrase highlights this essence: “You only understand what you’re willing to tame.” In this phrase, we find an approach that moves away from the idea of possession and views knowledge as an act of acceptance and genuine coexistence. This stance, where one acknowledges their position as a silent witness, opens the way to observational presence—a discreet and sensitive approach to reality that allows for true understanding.
This humility establishes the potential for knowing and understanding the Other. Saint Paisios spoke of humility as a necessary means for the clarity of the soul. A humble person can observe others without desiring to “correct” or control them, which is often an obstacle to true knowledge. Observational presence allows us to see clearly because it removes our need to be right, to possess the other, or to influence them. Through this form of “silence,” the Other is accepted as they are, revealing their truths to us with authenticity.
Saint Porphyrios, in turn, emphasized that true love and humility do not aim at any form of dominance over the Other but rather at their selfless understanding and acceptance. He noted that true love is based on inner peace and the absence of arrogance. In this state, the soul is clear, ready to receive the truth of the other without imposing its own images or interpretations. Thus, the humble soul is able to listen to the Other with genuine observational presence, without shaping or “correcting” their way of being.
Saint Joseph the Hesychast offers an even deeper approach to humility, speaking of “kenosis,” the complete and absolute surrender of the Ego, which allows entry into the divine experience. At this level, observational presence takes on an almost mystical character. The person who undergoes kenosis, or who is stripped of personal attachments, becomes open to fully accepting the truth of the Other and gaining a profound awareness of their existence. In this attitude of “non-intervention,” the knowledge of the Other becomes natural and effortless, as it arises from the observer’s deep tranquility.
Observational presence, like humility, also appears in philosophy, where thinkers highlight the importance of absolute acceptance of the Other. Martin Buber, in his book I and Thou, describes a fundamental distinction between the “I-Thou” relationship and the “I-It” relationship. The former is a relationship of true presence, in which one accepts the Other as a complete being without limiting them to the measures of one's own desires or needs. This stance requires humility and a complete rejection of the need to control and manipulate the Other. Observational presence here means precisely this: an open and receptive relationship based not on possession but on respectful coexistence.
Observational presence is also central to the philosophy of Martin Heidegger, who believes that openness to the truth of the world requires a disposition free from domination. Heidegger uses the concept of “un-covering,” where reality emerges on its own, without imposition by the observer. In this approach, humility is expressed as the absolute concession of freedom to the Other. Knowledge is not something that is “controlled,” but something that is accepted. Observational presence, according to Heidegger, thus emerges as the most authentic form of understanding, where one withdraws and allows existence to reveal itself as it is.
In psychology, observational presence has primarily been approached through the concept of empathy and humility as fundamental virtues for building healthy and meaningful relationships. Studies show that humility promotes empathy and openness, removing the pressures of the Ego that often create conflicts in interpersonal relationships. Observational presence allows a person to listen and perceive the Other without projecting their own desires or needs. In this context, humility is a tool that helps the observer avoid arbitrary judgments, cultivating the ability for genuine acceptance.
Observational presence is also well-documented in neuroscience. One of the key mechanisms for understanding the Other is mirror neurons, which activate when we observe the movements or emotions of others, allowing us to feel as though we are experiencing the same thing. This biological process shows that true understanding requires our silent acceptance of the Other’s experiences, as observational presence promotes internal identification without coercion. In this state, the knowledge of the Other comes through their natural expression, allowing authentic understanding of their emotions and behavior.
Observational presence and humility together offer a form of knowledge that does not seek to conquer, correct, or control. In a world where knowledge is often treated as something to be conquered, observational presence offers an alternative way of understanding, more authentic and profound. Instead of trying to impose our perceptions on others, we can accept them as they are, allowing their knowledge to affect us without coercion. This kind of knowledge is at the heart of wisdom and invites us to approach the world with respect, openness, and love.
References
- Saint Paisios, Logoi, Vol. 2, I.M. Souroti, 1993.
- Saint Porphyrios, Life and Words, Athens, 2014.
- Saint Joseph the Hesychast, Letters, Mount Athos, 1997.
- Buber, Martin, I and Thou, Scribner, 1970.
- Heidegger, Martin, Being and Time, Harper & Row, 1927.
- Davis, Don, et al. Humility as a Predictor of Psychological and Social Functioning, Journal of Positive Psychology, 2011.
- Rizzolatti, Giacomo, & Craighero, Laila, The Mirror-Neuron System, Annual Review of Neuroscience, 2004.